Hidden Moments
by captainofmyswan
Summary: Short little Fics posted mostly after every episode on Sundays while I have creative juices flowing. They usually take place where the episode finished off continuing on with whatever we're left with when it comes to Captain Swan.
1. 4x02 Part 1

**After tonight's episode "White Out" I couldn't resist writing a short little one shot. The subtle CS in that episode just got to me... I don't know how we're going to survive this season guys.**

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He had been so worried, Emma could see it in his eyes when she got out of the ice cave. He'd held onto her like if he let go she'd never get back to him. Her heart skipped when he'd asked her is she was okay. His words were filled with more than concern but with desperation to make sure she would survive, like it was his responsibility. With her in his arms she'll always be okay.

"You need me to get another blanket love?" Hook asks tightening his grip around her. They both sit on the couch, her body leaning against his as she uses his chest as a pillow.

"I'm fine Killian." She laughs. Once everyone had gone to bed Killian insisted he stay to make sure Emma was alright. She'd told him to go back to Granny's but he wouldn't have it, so Emma settled for cuddling on the couch while watching Netflix. "I'm completely defrosted." She jokes.

"By the feel of your fingers on my stomach love, I'd beg to differ." Killian had taken off his pirate jacket and vest leaving him in a loose black button down shirt. Emma hadn't noticed but her fingers had found their way up the hem and were making small circles against his skin. She could feel the outline of ab's under the palm of her hand. How could she have gotten so lucky.

"Oh really." Emma turns up her head to give him a mischievous look. She flattens her hand completely on his stomach causing him to give a small intake of breath at the cold.

"You'll pay for that one love." He grunts grabbing her hand from under his shirt and bringing it to his lips. He blows out a hot breath warming her hand from in icy state. Emma didn't want to admit it but she still was quite cold. Everyone had been fussing over her she just wanted to give them a break.

Emma hums at the warmth on her hand as Killian gives another breath. As she sits to face him she brings one leg beneath her as the other hangs of the side of the couch. She holds her other hand out to him.

"You like that?" He asks raising his eyebrow.

"Mhm." Emma nods, she really does like it. His lips anywhere on her body sends heat coursing through her.

Killian smiles and lets go of the hand he's currently holding. As he releases it he reaches for her other. He kisses her fingers, she shivers. When he notices he pulls her over his lap so one leg is on either side of him. He lets out a hot breath. She sighs as the warmth spreads through her palm and up her arm. Their eyes stay locked. Killian lets go of her hand to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. Emma lets out another shiver. Killian notices again and brings a blanket that had fallen off her shoulders back over them so it drapes over her and falls around both of them.

"You almost died today." He whispers as he looks her in the eye. That worried expression comes back as his hand traces up and down her thigh.

"But I didn't." She gives a small smile as her hands feel through the fabric of his shirt covering his chest.

"Thank god for that, because I don't know what I would do if I lost you Emma." She can see all the pain he went through today pouring back into him.

"You wont'." She assures him and he gives her a small smile. Emma brings her hand to his cheek feeling stubble under her fingers. She brings her lips closer to his while keeping eye contact. She needs to show him she won't ever go away. His eyes close as their lips meet, hers do the same. The kiss is slow and passionate. Emma leans her body forwards against his as his hand finds its way to her hip. She can feel the cool metal of his hook pressed against her shirt.

"Swan." He breaths separating their lips to look into her eyes, he's searching for something. He lets out a huff of air as if to give up and presses into her. He reaches his hand to tangle itself in her golden hair. Emma feels his teeth nip on her bottom lip as the kiss becomes more desperate.

"Slow down Captain, if we keep going at this rate I don't think my parents upstairs will be to happy." Emma laughs as she pulls away from him, she still straddles his waist.

"I suppose you're right."

Emma places herself in the position they started in and makes a conscious effort to keep her hands away from the hem of his shirt. She clears her throat and tries to focus on the program they'd been watching. There will be plenty of time for that later, she reminds herself.

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**Reviews are always helpful! Thanks for reading guys!**


	2. 4x02 Part 2

**Okay so I couldn't resist writing a little more. That episode was just amazing and I can't handle all the gifsets on tumblr.. they make me want to scream. Things get a bit more steamy this time around. Hope you like it...**

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Killian hadn't plan to doze off but when he reads the clock hanging from the kitchen wall and it says 3:00 AM he realized that's exactly what he'd done. Hook doesn't mind having Emma fall asleep in his arms, it's the matter of her father that concerns him.

Right when the thought passes through Killian's head David walks into the main room as if on cue. Emma's father notices they both lay on the couch, he walks towards the two with concern glimmering through his eyes.

"How's she doing?" David asks.

Killian had expected to be told off for staying so long, he wasn't going to complain about this response. "She'll be alright." Saying the words out loud make Killian's chest lift. "Emma's a tough lass." He finishes as she stirs in her sleep. Their voices probably interrupting her dreams.

"Why don't you take her upstairs and get her settled into bed." David tells Hook, he doesn't complain. David is acting less tense with Killian around his daughter. Could he be accepting whatever they are?

With a nod Killian manages to scoop Emma up in his arms. She nuzzles her head into his neck causing the hairs to stand. Every time she touches him it's like the whole world stops to admire what she does to him. He loves her so much. If he would have lost her to the cold he doesn't know if would be able to handle it.

When Killian reached her room he places her on the bed so her body lays above the covers. Killian hadn't even noticed she'd left her boots on the whole time. He lifts her right foot and unzips the boot pulling it off and placing it on the floor beside him. Her socks are freezing. It's a miracle her toes are still intact. Killian kneels down to the foot of the bed where her feet hang off. He slips the socks off her foot taking her toes in his hands. He blows a warm breath on them like he did with her fingers. Not the most romantic thing but the hum that flows through her lips is as much a price as any. He does the same to her other foot gaining the same response. When finished he places her boots in the corner of the room.

Her jacket still covers her shoulders, he'll need to take if off if she plans on having a comfortable sleep. Leather isn't exactly cotton pajamas, Killian would know. He lifts her up in a sitting position and shrugs the material off her shoulders.

"Captain Hook are you undressing me?" She mumbles as her eyes flutter open.

"Aye, but not as much as I would love to." He jokes while pulling the covers from under her so they lay across her body. She lays back, her eyes drift closed again and Killian turns to leave. He'll probably sit on the couch until she wakes up. To make sure she's really okay.

"Where are you going?" He hears her asks in a dazed voice. "Come here."

Killian turns to notice she'd lifted the covers gesturing for him to slide in beside her. Of course he can't resist his Swan. He shoves off his boots and slips under the warm blankets.

Emma immediately shuffles her body closer toward him so every inch of their bodies touch. Their feet intertwine into each other as he warms up her frosted toes. Her hand slips under his shirt yet again, she presses her fingers into his chest. They're freezing.

"Do you need me to get another blanket." Killian asks, concern taking control.

"No thank you. You're warm enough." She shuffles closer to him so she faces the low V of his shirt exposing much of his chest. She begins to plant soft kisses across his collarbone. Eventually her lips reach the lowest part visible just above his stomach. She nips on his flesh, a groan escapes him.

"Swan." He whispers and she hums in response, then pushes herself away. She starts to move in awkward positions underneath the covers. "What in gods name are you doing." Killian chuckles.

"Taking these god damn jeans off, they're so uncomfortable." She groans. After shuffling around a bit longer she pulls the fabric out from under the covers and tosses them across the room. She quickly cuddles back into Killian so the lay in the same position as before, but this time rather than Hooks hand on her waist it's placed on the small of her back. Emma may be comfortable around him, but he doesn't want to overstep his bounds.

Emma reaches behind her and she wraps his fingers around Killian's hand. She slides his palm lower so it reaches the tops of her underwear. The lace undergarment feels like silk against Killian's fingertips. He reaches for the fabric placed against her hip and slides his thumb above and below the fabric. Her breath begins to deepen as she presses her chest into his.

Killian tilts his head down so his lips meet hers. He reaches his hand to her high hiking it over his and he leans more into her. He feels her shiver beneath him.

"I'm sorry," He whispers catching his breath. "This should be the last thing on my mind." He pulls away from her and she whimpers as if the loss of body contact pains her. He pulls her inward so their bodies intertwine again. This time he'll keep his hands to themselves.

"You'll always be safe with me Emma." He assures her.

"I know." She responds planting a final kiss on his chest before sleep takes her.

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**REVIEWS REVIEWS REVIEWS! I just really like to hear what you guys think okay.**


	3. 4x03

**Takes place after the kiss in episode 4x03! Hope you guys like it!**

_**(Also if you read my Back to Enchanted story just so you know chapters will be coming out slower due to the fact I have a Beta reader now and they needs time to look over my work!)**_

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She'd finally told him and it felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off her chest. Her stomach stopped turning and the urge to cry with every second that passed escaped her. She told Killian she couldn't lose him, and that was the truth. Everyone she had ever loved has died and she doesn't know if she could handle her pirate being taken from her. He had become her rock, someone to keep her head from clouding with every bit of stress and responsibility thrown at her.

"Can I tell you something?" Emma whispers to Killian. After the moment they shared outside of Granny's Emma reluctantly pulled her lips from his. She'd suggested they go to his room and lock themselves away from the loud and distressed people of Storybrooke. They'd sneaked through the back of the inn even though Granny wouldn't exactly approve. They managed to make it onto Killian's bed without getting caught. Emma now lays with her head resting on Killian's chest. This position had become a favourite of hers. The constant beat of his heart is relaxing in a way, she knows he's alive and in her arms.

"You can tell me anything Swan. You know that." He assures her brushing his good hand through her golden hair. Emma sit's herself up so she faces him.

"When you almost died today." Emma sutters at the thought. Killian wraps his hand around hers and soothes him thumb over her knuckles. "It was like all the sudden I felt like I could do anything, like my power was stronger than it had ever been before. I… I think it was because of you." She swallows. "I couldn't let anything happen to you." Emma finishes quickly. She feels her cheeks flush as she searches the mans eyes for anything that can indicate whatever he's thinking.

"Oh Swan. You have always had that power in you, you just needed something to show you." Emma's relieved when Killian smiles. "I'm glad I could be of assistance though." He gives a cheeky grin that makes Emma's stomach flutter.

"Shut up." Emma giggles smacking his shoulder.

"I'm sorry about not listening to you." Killian's expression suddenly becomes serious. He's referring to not taking Elsa to the station. Emma knew she shouldn't have ordered either of them away but she felt like she had too. Emma knows Elsa is perfectly capable of handling herself and Killian knows what he's doing. Emma just wanted to protect them.

"I know you are." Emma takes a moment to bring her legs on either side of him so she sits on his hips as he leans against the headboard.

"Well if I knew this was what apologies get me, I'd do it more often." Hook grins resting his hands on her hips. His finger touches just where her jeans and shirt don't reach together. The feeling of his skin on hers makes her body tingle.

"Watch it." She grins leaning forward to plant a small kiss on his lips. She pulls away when she notices a light on her phone flashing beside her. Killian groans with disappointment when she leans away from him to grab the device. "Just give me a minute, I have a message." She clicks a few buttons and brings the phone to her ear.

"_Why should i carry around this ridiculous thing if you are never there when I use it..._" Emma can't help but laugh when she hears Killians words flow through her ears.

"Oh good god, do you do that every time I leave one of those message things?" He asks. Emma can tell he feels embarrassed, it's adorable.

Emma chuckles. "No I don't, I'm not even sure why I'm laughing this time." She continues to chuckle while she reaches over to place her phone on the nightstand, before she can get anywhere Killian guides her back to his hips.

"And just where do you think you're going?"

Emma considers telling him she was just moving for a second but decides to play the mysterious card. "Wouldn't you like to know."

"I always do." He smirks flipping Emma over in one swift movement so he rests on his elbows placed on either side of her. "Now you're not going anywhere." His voice becomes dangerously low and the hairs on Emma's back begin to stand.

Killian's body outlines hers perfectly without crushing her with his weight. Her breath begins to escape her with their closeness. She tries to focus on her breathing to keep her mind from wandering down a path it would never return from.

"What are you gonna do to make me stay." Emma reaches up to capture his bottom lip between her teeth. Killian presses his body into her while their lips tangle into each other. When Killian pulls away Emma can't resist the urge to push her body against his.

"I can think of a few things." He smirks raises an eyebrow. The buzz of Emma's phone under her back breaks the heated moment. "I swear those devices were created by a mad man." Killian groan flopping off Emma so he lays beside her. Emma checks her phone where Snows face appears.

"It's my mother, I should probably join them all anyways." Emma sits up and scoots to the end of the bed pulling her boots on that she had taken off earlier. "Don't worry, we'll continue this later." Emma turns to see Killian leaning back on his elbows.

"Is that a promise?"

Emma smiles in response. She gets up and walks to his side of the bed. She plants a small and brief kiss on his lips because she doesn't know if she can walk away from anything more.

Emma leaves the room wishing she could stay.

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**That review box is looking a little lonely, maybe you could give it some company?**


	4. 4x04

**Okay so wow. A lot happened in that episode and I don't know if I can handle anything right now.**

**Killian is keeping Gold and his new _relationship_ a secret and it got me to thinking, what if he doesn't tell Emma about it. Will he distance himself from her? Cause that's a big secret to keep from someone who is clearly very important to him. But idk, what do you guys think?**

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Killian hadn't meant to ruin who he'd become. All he wanted was for everything between Emma and him to be perfect. He'd just wanted to hold her, to be as close as he could to her, but that might change. She'd finally started accepting what they could be, but now any hope of that seems so far away. If Killian hadn't of been so selfish and forced The Dark One to give him his hand back everything would still be the way it was. Of course Killian screwed up, He'll always be that damn foolish pirate.

After Emma and Killian's date he wanted nothing more than to continue on with their evening, but without having full control over his actions he wouldn't want to put Emma in danger. He had other matters to attend to anyways. His top priority had now become getting his Hook back. Something he'd never thought he'd want. He'd succeeded, but of course Gold had something to string along while making their deal. Killian is no longer a free man, Rumple was sure to make that clear. The worst part of it all was that Killian brought it on himself. The hand isn't what brought Hooks dark side out, it had been there all along. It was just waiting for Killian to allow it to be free. Like Rumple said, he needed an excuse, and he got it.

Emma called Killian to meet her at the station. When he saw the man who'd he'd almost beat bloody standing behind bars his heart stopped, along with his breathing. The man didn't give away his secret, this allowed Killian to give deep breath, but his heart still seemed frozen in place. Something is terribly wrong and Killian knows what it is. How is he supposed to be truthful with his Swan if he's keeping something so big from her.

"Come on, I'll give you a ride to wherever you need to be." Emma tells Killian after discussing important matters with David and Elsa.

"Sure love." Killian responds quietly. He feels Emma weave her fingers through Killian's good hand. He'll never get used to being able to have these small gestures together, they always feel so big.

"Where to?" Emma asks as Killian holds the doors open for her.

Where will Killian go? Will he find Gold and discuss the next order of business or back to Granny's and pretend nothing has changed. How could be pretend everything is the same with Emma's beautiful eyes staring up at him. He should tell her what he's done, or at least try to explain the mess he's made. Maybe if he told her his reasons she would understand. Of course Killian believes he's fooling himself. How could Emma forgive someone so selfish and daft. She would think he's a worthless pirate that's always thinking of himself.

"Killian?"

"Yes love." Hook responds, blinking his eyes a few times to regain his surroundings.

"Are you alright?" Emma asks wrapping her arms behind him so they lock behind his back and their bodies are pressed together. She leans up to kiss him. For a second Killian forgets everything that's happened, all he can think about is how soft and delicate her lips are. He reminisces in the fact that he doesn't need to fear she'll pull away. Killian know's she wants this, maybe just as much as he does. Then it all comes back to him. Gold, his hand, and the fact he's keeping something from the woman he loves.

Killian reluctantly pulls away from Emma. "Come to think of it love, it's a fine day for a walk. Call me if you need anything." Killian to slow turning his back to her, he catches a look that makes his chest clench. It's something small, but he knows it'll have a lasting impression on her. He pushed her away for the first time, one thing he promised he'd never do. She's so used to people leaving her and not caring. What if she thinks that's what's happening with her and him now.

Killian looks at his feet as he walks. "What have I done." He whispers letting out a shaky breath as he walks toward Granny's.

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**Reviews are always awesome if you've got the time!**


	5. 4x05

**Okay can we just talk about this episode for a second? All the casual relationship things Emma and Hook did? Killian taking Henry sailing! The small kiss when he left! They're practically married omg.**

**Anyways... reviews would be welcomed as always! Hope you enjoy!**

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Letting him in like she did was not the easiest thing for Emma to do. She'd shown Killian her past, things she never thought she'd let anyone lay eyes on but her. She didn't know what would happen, would he think she's a freak? Only see the orphan she used to be? Of course he wouldn't, Emma know's that. But that doesn't make it any less harder.

Thoughts of Neal trailed into her mind when Killian picked up the glasses. She'd worn them when Neal and her had become close. The way Killian had looked up at her suggests his thoughts wandered somewhere else completely. Leave it to him to make something so innocent so unbelievably sexy.

When he held the picture of Neal and Emma she could see the pain in his eyes. Emma knew it wasn't because her and the man's past, but because Killian lost someone as well when Neal died. All Emma wanted to do when hold Hook and tell him everything was okay, but the video camera caught her eye before she could act. It was what she'd been looking for.

Killian held Emma's hand while they watched the video. It reminded Emma of her painful and lonely past, but with Killian so close, she couldn't help but feel safe and wanted. The warmth of her fingers kept reminding Swan of what the future holds. She was glad she was sharing her youth with Killian. In a way it seemed like he was the only one who understood how lonely she had really been, but now they have each other.

Emma moves Killian's arm so it wraps around her shoulder. She breaths in the scent of his new leather jacket as she rests her head in the crook of his neck. The gesture makes Emma feel the urge to tell the young women on the television screen that she'll find someone she can trust eventually, some one who will trust her equally and not treat her like the orphan she was.

The picture eventually faded making Emma feel like a weight had been lifted off her chest. She needed to watch the video and having Killian with her made everything seem so much more understandable. When the screen buzzed once more Emma opened her closed eyes, _i don't remember this, _she tilts her head up to get a better view of the new footage.

"Where is that?" Killian asks in a tone doesn't meet Emma's confusion.

"I… I don't really remember. Maybe my next foster home?" She responds as more of a question than answer.

"Blocked out an unpleasant time?" Hook questions squeezing her shoulder as comfort.

"I guess." Emma's voice is small as she racks through her memories trying to recall something, anything.

Killian asks her if could have been a friend, but from the video the boy clearly wasn't about to play barbies with Emma, he'd been bullying her. Emma usually remembered the bad homes, but why not this one?

"I don't remember any of this…" Emma's sentence trails off when a familiar voice fills the speakers. _That can't be the Snow Queen could it? _Emma asks herself, she's answered very soon when her and Killian watch the wicked lady scold the boy in the video while retrieving Emma's camera.

"Bloody hell, is that…?" Killians words sum up the extent of Emma's emotions.

"Yea…" Is all she can muster. She stands abruptly to face Killian, her back to the television. She can't stand to see the woman's face frozen on screen. The rational thing would be to turn the device off, but nothing is making sense right now and rational doesn't either.

"How could I not remember that?" Emma questions folding her arms in front of her. "How could I not remember her!?" She meets her eyes to Killian's who still stares at the screen, his brows coming together while he goes through every possibility he can think of.

"The lass was obviously here when the first curse hit, the picture of you in the ice cream shop is proof of that. What I want to know is how did she leave Storybrooke, she would have lost her memories." Killian ponders still staring at the screen. His eyes finally divert to Emma when she leans on the desk behind him, her palms facing down.

"This makes no sense."

"We'll figure it out." Killian reassures her as he moves to stand beside her. He trails his hand up and down her back.

"Killian that's not helping right now." Her tone is less annoyed and more breathless.

"Really Swan, at a time like this…" Killian smirks to himself and his hand diverts its course to rest on her hip. His thumb makes matters over the fabric of her shirt.

"Killian we need to focus." Emma steps away from the pirate and finds the remote to the television. She turns it off relieved the woman's face is no longer staring at her.

"Look Swan, it's late. We both need rest. We can fill David, Elsa, and everyone else in in the morning. Let's go home." Killian reaches for her hand spinning her around so their chests touch.

How does this damn man make everything seem okay when it is clearly not. Emma just found out something from her past that had been erased from her memory. Normally she'd be panicking, but with Killian's hand in hers everything seems alright.

"What is home anyways." Emma looks down at her feet. "My parents place? Where they're currently raising a baby? Henry stays at Regina's half the time now. I can't exactly stay at Granny's…" Emma sighs. "Lately she sheriff's station has become more of a home than anything else."

"I'd thought we'd already discussed you needed your own place." Killian chuckles linking his hand and hook around her back. "You're wanting it for independent reasons, and a dashing pirate like myself is wanting it for much other, more mature reasons." He wiggles his eyebrows as Emma's cheeks flush.

"In that case I'll start looking for apartments as soon as-" Her words are cut shorts as Killian's hips rock against hers pushing her back into the desk. "You need to stop distracting me." Emma breaths.

"But I make an offley good distraction." He growls, rocking his hips once more. Emma's breath hitches as she places a sturdy hand on his chest pushing him back so there is enough distance between them that she can refrain herself from doing anything off task.

"My parent's would want to know about the recording as soon as they could." Emma keeps her eyes on Killian's. She avoids looking at his mouth with every ounce of self control she has left. Killian on the other hand is helping himself as his eyes trail over her body. "There will be time for this later, I promise." Emma smirks.

"As you wish." Killian raises an eyebrow. As much as she's afraid to lose him, he'll always make her feel secure. Killian knows her. He knows how to calm her down or keep her alert. Emma knows he's good for her, it's just keeping the mind set that's the hard part.


	6. 4x07

**Kinda cheesy but whatever, we all need some cheese after that episode...**

**Not beta read so sorry for any mistakes.**

**Reviews are always helpful!**

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She never thought they would look at her like that, she never thought her mother would look at her like that. The Snow Queen warned her this would happen but she always thought her family loved her. She thought they would understand, that they would trust her. Apparently Emma had been completely wrong. When she saw the looks in their eyes, her stomach turned and her heart sank. She'd never felt anything like it before, except when she was an orphan, but this was much worse.

When she was younger she at least had some hope her parents didn't want to give her away, that they had too. It turns out that was the truth, they wanted her or at least they used to want her. Now Emma isn't so sure. The image of her mothers eyes after the streetlamp feel repeats in Emma's head. That was a look of disgust, a look of fear. Snow wouldn't want Emma around baby Neal, why would she. Emma should have saw it coming when Snow pulled Neal away from her. Emma tried to brush it off like it was no big deal, but it hurt. It was the first sign that her family no longer loved her like they used too.

Now Emma's alone. She looks over the city praying she can fix this. But how? A small tap on her car window makes Emma grip onto the steering wheel. A ray of light shines from under her palms. Emma closes her eyes trying everything to make it stop, but the more she tries the more her stomach sinks and the light grows brighter. She lets out a frustrated groan and shoves her hands in her jacket pockets.

"Emma love, it's alright." Emma opens her eyes when she hears Killian's soothing voice hum through the cars window. She feels a tear roll down her cheek and she closes her eyes again. He shouldn't have to deal with her like this. She could hurt him, or he could hurt her.

Emma hadn't even looked at Killian when everything happened. Seeing her mothers and fathers eyes was hard enough, seeing Killian disgusted by her might break her. "Hook you should leave." She keeps her voice steady and stares forward avoiding any possible eye contact as he kneels at the window.

"Emma, I'm not afraid of you." Killian responds trying to give her at least some reassurance.

Emma doesn't reply, she can't. She want's nothing more than to open that door and let him hold her in his arms. He would do anything to make sure she's alright, even if that means putting his own life in danger, and Emma can't allow him to do that.

"Killian leave, I can't control it, I could hurt you. You saw what happened to David." Another tear drops from her eye.

"Emma, you won't hurt me, I know you won't just open the door." He tries pulling on the handle, but it won't budge. "Emma, please." he pleads.

From the corner of her eye Emma can see him rest his forehead against the window. Now that he's looking at the ground Emma has a chance to see him. She turns her head to study his features. His eyes are closed but they still look sad. She's doing this to him, she causing him this pain. He says her name again in a whisper. She can't hear it through the windows glass but she can see in on his lips. Emma's heart sinks deep into her chest. She can't do this to him.

He lifts his head from the glass when he hears the click of the vehicle unlocking. He doesn't try to pull the door open, he stands up and steps away. He knows if he rushes her it would scare her and she'd push him even further away.

Emma forces herself to open the door and focuses on the creek it makes, not on the fact that she's making a huge mistake. One foot in front of the other she steps out of her bug closing the door behind her. She keeps her hands inside her pockets the whole time, too afraid to take them out. They're a weapon, a weapon she doesn't know how to use.

"Swan." Killian whispers. He takes a small step toward her and Emma instinctively takes a step back. She wince when his hand reaches for her. "Emma, you can't do this. You can't pull away when you've finally let me in. I can help you. You don't have to be alone through this." He explains taking another step.

Emma's back is against her car, she shoves her hands deeper into her pockets. His words break her into pieces. He's the only person that can keep her stable but with the danger she could but him in it's too risky.

"Killian no. I'll screw up and you'll look at me like my parents did. You'll fear me and I don't know if-" Emma cuts her sentence short when her voice begins to shake.

"Emma I could never be afraid of you." Killian tries to tell her. He steps forward again but Emma steps to the side so he can't reach her. "Emma, you need to trust me, I won't hurt you."

"You should be afraid that I'm going to hurt you." Emma chokes out through the growing tears. She looks at everything but Killian, afraid of what she'll see if she does.

"Emma, look at me." Killian insists. "Look at me!" this time he orders her. Emma reluctantly drags her eyes to his. Her heart lifts the tiniest but when she only see's want and kindness in his eyes. It sinks again when she remembers he'll look at her they way she dreads eventually. The Snow Queen had been right about everything so far, so why not this.

"Emma, I am not afraid of you." His voice becoming soft again. "I may not ever fully understand what you're going through right now, but I'm here for you. I will always be here." He moves closer to her and this time she doesn't back away. He rests his hands over hers though the pockets of her jacket. She flinches away but Killian immediately pulls her back.

"I'll hurt you." Emma whispers a shaky breath.

"You won't." He responds planting a delicate kiss on her forehead. Emma shivers at his touch. "Give me your hands."

"No." She says sternly.

"Emma, please." His voice is so gentle. He hasn't spoken to her like this since the day they thought they watched Emma's mother burn at the hand of Regina. Lost in thought Emma doesn't notice him reach his good hand into her pocket and take hold of hers.

Emma gasps, "Killian!" she pulls away fearing what she might do to him. He takes her hand out of her pocket and intertwines it into his fingers.

"It's times like this I wish I had two hands to hold you with, but even still, you're harmless Swan." He smiles, trying to put her at ease. Killian beings to make circles with his thumb on the inner bits of Emma's palm. The fact he does it without a flinch fills Emma with relief. She can feel hope boiling through the newly found warmth of her body.

"Swan look." Killian whispers nodding down toward their hands. A dim white light pours through the cracks of their fingers.

Emma tries pulling away as her heart starts to beat faster. "Oh my god! Am I hurting you!?" Killian's grip tightens as he lets out a smile. Emma studies his face relaxing a bit when she can see no pain in his eyes. She must have a confused look because Killian lets out a small chuckle and rests his forehead on hers.

"The exact opposite actually." He brushes his lips against her cheek and the light between their hands grows brighter. He smiles down at her, but Emma still dreads her own curse.

As if Killian knows what she needs he leans toward her. Emma's whole body lifts when she feels the familiarity of his lips against hers. They both jump back slightly as the light radiates even brighter from between their fingers.

"See it's not all bad." Killian releases her hand and brings his own up to her cheek. "I will never be afraid of you Emma, you will always have me, I am yours."

Emma's heart feels as if it's floated back into place, the relief of Killian's words settling her knotted stomach as well. Maybe it will be okay, maybe she can fix this.


	7. 4x08

**Sorry its taken me so long to get this one out guys! My computer got a virus so I haven't had anything to post my stuff on. Please keep in mind that this is not beta read so sorry for any mistakes!**

**This gets little more steamy than most my work, just a slight warning.**

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She did it, Emma was finally able to gain control over her magic. When she had reached for Elsa's hand fear had been coursing through her, but she was able to believe in herself. Emma kept telling herself her magic was a gift not a burden, she should be trying to share it and to help others, not throw it away. When Emma's skin touched Elsa's and the woman wasn't hurt Emma felt invincible. Elsa always knew Emma could do it, but Emma had her doubts. Now nothing can stop her.

The questionable ribbons on Elsa and Emma's wrists has everyone confused and worried. It's obvious the Snow Queen attached the thin pieces of fabric to both the girls, but why? What could they possibly do? The feeling Elsa got from it Emma felt too, but how could the Queen possibly make an object so simple so powerful? Unless it has some hidden meaning.

"You alright Swan?" Killian's soothing voice draws Emma from her wandering imagination. She hadn't been able to get her mind off the ribbons since they left that manor.

Letting out a frustrated sigh Emma turns to face the direction Killians voice is coming from. Her stomach immediately flutters like every other time she looks into his gorgeous eyes. The eye's he hasn't stopped looking at her with since the manor. The kiss he gave her when Killian found Elsa and Emma was breathtaking, but it almost seemed rushed as if they were running out of time. Emma tried to brush it off, but like the ribbons the thought wouldn't leave her busy mind.

"I could be better if I knew what these ribbons are for, and what they do." Emma answers avoiding the issue of the kiss, not sure if she wants to hear the answer. Emma knows somethings wrong with Killian, she's just hoping he'll trust her enough to tell her what's wrong on his terms.

Emma tries pulling at the fabric on her wrist but immediately gives up having tried to do the exact same thing multiple times before. The kettle of water Emma had been boiling starts to scream bringing Emma's attention to the kitchen. She moves to the counters and begins preparing her and Killians hot chocolate.

"We'll figure it out, we always do." Killian responds, his eyes not shining with the hopeful gleam like they always do. Emma tries to give her best smile, but her acting skills don't seem to be working today. "Do you ever stop worrying?" Killian continues to question as he walks behind the apartments kitchen counter. He continues to gaze at her as if he's memorizing every feature she possesses, like he might forget one day.

"What are you looking at." Emma blushes and tries to occupy herself

"Only the most beautiful woman in the world." Killian smirks in the way that makes Emma's heart beat a little faster. An innocent smile plays on Killian's lips as he pulls Emma closer so their bodies press together, his lips inches from hers. The hairs on Emma's neck begin to stand as the pirate inches closer. Their foreheads touch and Killian wraps his arms tighter around the small of Emma's back as if breathing her in. What's with him tonight? It's like he's savoring every moment like it's their last.

"I've got hot chocolate to make mister." Emma pushes Killian back gaining a disappointed look from the man. She flashes him a cheeky smile and starts pouring water into their cups.

"You torture me Swan." Killian smirks and stands behind her pressing his body against hers so they both face the counter. He trails his good hand into the pocket of the sweater she had put on earlier and rests his head on her shoulder.

Killian and Emma no longer have to worry about prying eyes like they did at the manor with Elsa. Everyone who lives in this tiny apartment, are currently at Granny's. They had all decided to celebrate Emma's triumph. Killian and Emma had decided to leave the party early, giving them the apartment to themselves.

"So you were excited to see me back at the manor, you haven't taken your eyes off me since." Now's a better time than ever to get Killian's weird behavior out on the table. Emma tilts her head to face the man behind her, searching for something in his eyes that will give her a hint as to what's going on.

"Of course I was excited, you decided to keep one of the many beautiful things that make you, you. As for looking at you Swan, I just can't help myself." Killian whispers the last bit into Emma's ear. He takes his hand out of her pocket and trails it across her stomach. The warmth of his body pressed against her back accompanied by his wandering hand is enough to make Emma breathless. Every second the two touch tension seems to build while sparks fly through her skin.

Killian turns Emma's to face him pinning her against the counter. His lips jump on her's desperate to feel the want and need between the pair. Killian pulls on Emma's bottom lip with his teeth, when she lets out a groan he takes a moment to catch his breath.

"You're a good guy Killian, thank you." Emma's not sure why, but everything Killian has done for her starts to surface itself in her mind. How patient he's been with her or trading his ship for her. All things he did willingly without question. Things he can never take back. Even when Emma's a wreck, which seems to be most of the time lately, he's stuck with her through thick or thin.

"I assure you Swan, you deserve better." Killian breaths, his voice raw and truthful like he actually believes those words.

"Killian are you alright?" Emma asks pulling her head back slightly to look him in the eyes. Now's his chance to get whatever he's hiding off his chest. Emma brings her hand to his cheek, her fingers brush over the familiar stubble that she yearns to feel under her lips.

"I'm here with you Swan, that's all I need." Killian tries. It's not an answer to her question, but it's not a lie. Emma can only hope he'll tell her eventually, she's trusting him too. She has to believe he'll be honest with her. Killian traps her lips with his once more, Emma doesn't think of resisting. The temptation of his body wrapped around hers touching every inch of Emma's skin is too much to keep herself focused. Killian is everything Emma needs right now, he's stable and will always be here. If it's to talk or activities like this, he'll always come when she asks and Emma will do the same for him.

Killian pulls away briefly leaving Emma to whimper at the absence of his lips."Now love, we no longer have company in the room so how about we continue on with what we started earlier." A devilish grin plays on his lips before he lifts Emma up to sit on the counter, separating her legs to stand between them and immediately bringing his lips to the crook of her neck. Sucking and nibbling in the perfect spots.

"Aye aye Captain." Emma remarks through gasps of breath. Emma shoves Killians leather jacket off his shoulders, the scent of the material never leaving him. Emma pulls Killian closer by his vest and dominates his top lip, probably leaving it just as bruised as her's will be. Emma feels killian tug at the hem of her shirt and sweater. The pair parts their lips briefly as he pulls the material over her head.

"Now this is a sight to see." Killian grins as his eyes trail over her body. Emma makes a mental note to thank herself later for wearing her favorite pair of matching underwear today. The black lace and white bow are enough to keep Killians mind to wonder what lays beneath the thin fabric."You're magnificent darling." Killian gives in her ear with a husky voice. Emma's cheeks flush and she lets out a shiver. Not because she's cold, but because they way he is when lust and desire have taken over is absolutely breathtaking.

Killian trails his lips from Emma's neck to her shoulder taking the bra strap down with him through his greedy kisses. Emma's mind begins to blur when Killian good hand finds it's way up her jeans, past her stomach and to the cup of her bra. He begins to massage her through the fabric, a whimper escaping Emma's lips as she involuntarily pushes her chest into his hand.

"Thats my Swan." Killian groans pulling Emma closer with his hooked arm so she sits at the edge of the counter. Killian grinds his hips into hers at an agonizingly slow place. "Shall we take this to the bedroom?"

Everything in Emma's mind immediately stills. Once they leave this kitchen there is no turning back from what will undoubtedly happen. Is Emma ready for that? She brings her eyes to meet Killian's. His eye's no longer filled with greed to have her all to himself, but patients and love. How could Emma deny such a wonderful man. He cares about her, he would never hurt her.

"Sure." Emma smiles. Relief immediately spreads through Killian as he picks Emma up and walks toward the bedroom. Tonight is a night neither of them will ever forget.

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**Reviews are more than welcome!**


	8. 4x12

**Hey guys. I'm really sorry I haven't been updating for a while, I'm just at a block with writing. Sorry this chapters really short but it was a struggle to get even this much!**

**Really sorry again guys! 3**

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"I told you Swan, I'm a survivor." Emma tilts her head back to look up at the man before her. A small smile plays on her lips as she remembers them first time she ever heard Killian say those words. At the time she never thought they would mean anything to her, but now they mean everything.

"Yes you are." Emma smiles resting her head against wall behind her. "How long?" Emma clears her throat.

"What do you mean love?" Killian questions, using his good hand to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Emma looks into Killians beautiful eyes searching for an answer. Her chest tightening the more she thinks about the fact Gold had been controlling him this whole time.

"How long did he have it… your heart I mean." Emma's not sure if she wants to know. How long had it been that she hadn't even noticed something was off about Killian? How long had he been suffering without her having a clue? Had he been calling for help but she was too oblivious to hear him? That's what's getting to Emma the most about this situation, if she'd just followed her gut instinct the first time she saw signs of Killian acting strange this could have been fixed ages ago.

"It doesn't matter, all that does is that it's yours now." Killian gives Emma an eager kiss, it's enough to make her want more. "And it is yours Emma, you know that." Hook lifts Emma's chin with his fingers so she's forced to look the man in the eye. How could Emma have been so blind to his suffering.

"I'm sorry."

With Emma's words Killian pulls her into a hug, when she pulls back to look at him he doesn't loosen his grip. "Emma, you have nothing to apologize for." Killian assures her. He pulls back resting his forehead against hers. "You need to understand that. This isn't on you." Emma can feel her heart break at his words, but she still can't shake the sick feeling in her stomach. She doesn't think she'll be able to for a while.

"I just wish I could have done something sooner." Emma confesses. She feels her eyes begin to water, she holds back the tears. A burning lingers behind her eyes. "I should have done something sooner." She says through clenched teeth, getting angry at herself.

"Emma, it's alright. We're both alive and well. We're together." Killian says in almost a whisper. The sentence only meant for her ears.

"I like the sound of that. Together." The knot in Emma's chest begins to loosen. The more she opens up to Killian the lighter she feels. All these years of blocking everyone out and building her walls so damn high, It feels good to take them down. It feels good to trust someone and show them who she really is. "So are we official now?" Emma smirks. She says it as a joke but is serious in her question. Is this it? Is this when they officially have the talk?

"I'd like to think so. That way I could introduce you as my girlfriend rather than it's complicated." Killian jokes bring his hand down to Emma's waist spinning her around so he leans against the all and she leans against him. Emma's breath hitches with their mouths inches apart. It feels as they've known each other forever but Killian still seems to take Emma's breath away.

"I'm sure it'll make things much easier." Emma struggles to get the words out with the tension building between them. Their bodies press closer together. Their lips catch each other and Emma feels every pound weighing her down lift from her shoulders. So this is what its like to love someone with everything you have.


	9. 4x14 CS Promo Clip

**A ridiculously short snippet set after this (**** watch?v=iO49_QQlbhE) promo clip. I just needed to get something out there you know.**

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"You don't know what else to say?" Emma's tone isn't harsh, it's as if she's trying to figure out what Killian really means. That's exactly what she's trying to do. "Were you too…?" Emma wonders out loud. Is he being so secret because they might have a romantic history together? Does he still have feelings for her?

"No Emma, it's nothing like that." Killian reassures her a bit too quickly. "We just crossed paths once or twice. Nothing spectacular really." His smile is fake but for some reason he still thinks he can fool her. He isn't telling the truth, what could possibly be so bad he would keep something from her. "Now Swan, eat up you've got a long afternoon ahead of you."

Emma catches the man with her words before he can turn to leave. She moves from her seat to stand in front of him holding just below the collar of his jacket. "No no no, you're not changing the subject on me. There is something going on. I'm not going to force you to tell me because I trust you." Killian begins to speak but Emma cuts him off. "Just please, if you're in danger please let me know. I can help."

Killian places his hands on Emma's waist pulling her towards him. He breathes deeply and touches his forehead with hers. "Thank you Emma." The worry doesn't leave Emma's stomach and she doesn't think it will for a while. Not until this whole thing is sorted out and everything can go back to normal, or as normal as it can be. "And Swan." Emma hums in response. "I am a pirate you know, I can handle myself." Emma smiles and lifts her head to look at the man before her.

"You're an idiot that's what you are." Emma jokes and Killian smiles. The mood is lighted the slightest bit, but Emma knows it wont last for long.


	10. 5x01

**Yay I'm starting this up again! I couldn't resist writing something for the season premiere! It was so good! I am absolutely in love with Dark Swan! What about you guys? Are you?**

**Anyways here's a little thing I did, hope you like it!**

**I'm reposing cause someone pointed out to me that I put 6 months later and not weeks... totally meant weeks... I dont have a beta so things like this might happen! Sorry guys!**

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It's hard to explain how it feels, the darkness. How it looms over you with its chilling grip grasping at shoulders. With every step you take something forces you backwards, pushing you to a place within that no one should ever find their way too. It shows you what you really have in you, the things you could never imagine yourself doing. It makes them seem easier or less real. In a way it makes everything seem fake. It forces you to separate yourself from reality and see things for what they really are, nothing. It won't matter in the end, so take what you can now while you're still breathing.

"Swan?" A careful voice pulls Emma from her thoughts that always seem to lead her to the same place, a place she hates going too. Emma gives Killian a small smile, she can't imagine what he thinks of her. He saw her holding the heart of an innocent woman she had been ready to end the life of. "What are you doing out here?" Killian continues, a genuine gaze of worry looks down at Emma who sits on the edge of a stone balcony, her feet dangling over the side as she adores the castle grounds below her. Emma finds herself surprised at the fact she can still find beauty while in such a dark place.

"It's so pretty." Emma poorly explains looking down at the gardens below. She feels Killian place a gentle hand on her shoulder, he squeezes slightly as if to reassure her. The gesture seems pointless. As if anything could make her situation any better.

"We could go down there and see it if you'd like?" Killian suggests and Emma nods in response. Night had fallen since they arrived at Camelot. King Arthur told them all they'd be welcome at dinner if they were hungry, which Emma was not. The version of Rumple that is constantly swirling around in her mind made sure to remind Emma of that. Though he never seems to find his way to her when she's with Killian, he makes the voices in her head go away.

Emma and Killian walk through archways of flowers and hedges, silence following them wherever they go. Their fingers intertwine in each others both seeming to breath again at each other's touch.

"Killian, I..." Emma hesitates as he looks at her searching for what she's trying to say.

"Emma you know you can tell me anything." Killian reminds her.

Emma knows what she needs to hear and she knows what his answer will be but the question seems to get stuck in her throat. "Killian you saw me do something… terrible," Emma shivers at the thought. "I'm not the same person anymore and…" Emma trails off, her chest weighing her down with every word she says.

Killian stops and takes Emma's hands in his, looking deep into her eyes forcing them to stay locked. "Swan, my feelings for you will never change nor quiver at anything you did or ever will do, I… love you." He lets out as if he'd been holding those words in since the moment he arrived in The Enchanted Forest.

Emma sucks in a breath and pulls her pirate to her, locking his lips with hers. A tear falls from Emma's cheek, the moment almost seems perfect but deep in Emma's stomach she knows it's far from that.

*****SIX WEEKS LATER*****

He might not remember what had happened in the past to get him here, but Killian knows he would have never gave up on Emma. He knows that he would have fought till the end of his days before he would let her go dark. So why is he still alive.

Emma disappeared before he could ask any questions, before any of them could. He'd just found her again and within a day he's lost her once more. Killian grunts as he throws a toaster from the counter of Grannies and watches it smash against the wall, the metal parts crumbing to the ground. Killian wishes he could do just that but he can't, he has to fix this, fix something that he did in the past to fail Emma. Killian pushes past the stares that follow him out the door of Grannies, he walks until he finds himself at the docks. He racks his mind trying to remember what his lost but all he gains is a headache. The thought of how he could let this happen boiling in his stomach, making him feel sick.

"Always so dramatic." A chilling voice trails through Killians spine making the hairs on his neck stand. He slowly turns around to face the woman that makes his breath leave him. She's a completely different person.

"Swan." He swallows, forcing his voice to be steady.

Emma walks toward the pirate. Killian wants to hold her and tell her everything is going to be okay and he can fix this. Unfortunately doing that will only make things worse. Can he fix this? He's already failed once before, what will make this time any different? Killian forces the thought to the back of his mind. He can't think like that, not now. Not while the woman he loves is possessed by the darkness she's feared for so long.

"Emma I know this isn't you." Killain tries as she steps closer to him, she reaches for his hook and brings it between them, her thumb resting on the sharp tip.

She looks at him through her eyelashes, an eerie smile finding its way to her lips. "On the contrary Pirate, this is me. You didn't understand that before and you still don't. But not to worry I'll change that soon enough." Emma drops Killians hook and bites her lip, she's toying with him and he won't let it work.

"Never." Killian stands his ground looking into Swans eyes hoping and searching for something that can tell him Emma is still in there, somewhere.

"We'll see about that." She smiles and turns on her her heal.

As Emma walks away from him, Killian thinks of all the possible things that could make her come back. "Emma!" He calls, not sure if she even hears him. As she gets further away his mind races thinking of what to say. "Your parents still love you!" Nothing. "Henry needs you." She stops in her tracks, a pause, then she disappears. That's it, what he was looking for, something to make her think of what she has lost. Henry is exactly that. Her boy is what will bring The Savoir back to Storybrook.

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**Reviews are always welcome. Good or bad as long as its constructive! **


	11. 5x02

**A ridiculously short fic of what might have happened if Hook stayed at Emmas new house for a little bit longer than he did. *wink wink, nudge nudge***

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"It didn't bloody work." Killians his chest tightens, feeling as though every breath left in him has been drained from his lungs.

"You've been talking to Belle." The Dark One assumes.

"Why didn't it work?" Does Emma not love him anymore? The idea sends Killians thoughts spiralling through endless possibilities in his mind. Thinking of what he must have done wrong. What could have possibly happened in Camelot to change her feelings for him. Had he tried the kiss once before and had she chose darkness over her family, over him? "Don't you love me anymore?"

"Of course I do," Emma chuckles at the question, as if he should already know the answer. Killians chest loosens but doesn't completely remove the knot. There is still an infinite list of things that are wrong in these moments. Like the fact that he wants to keep kissing her, to hold her in his arms and make her his. But this isn't his Swan, this is the Dark One talking, not her. "This is who I am now. No one can change that." Emma instructs Killian as if she's said it a million times before.

"I'll find a way to bring you back to me Emma." The determination behind Killians words forces Emma to take a step back. A smirk wrests on her lips as is everything is a game it her, it probably is.

"We'll see about that." She smiles before taking a swig of the Rum she'd poured for Killian, when she's finished the glass vanishes from her hand. "But first…" She grabs onto the collar of his jacket pulling her desperate lips toward his, locking them in a deep and hungry kiss. Killian slides his hand around her waist and turns the pair around placing Emma between the wall and him. She grunts at the force Hook uses and she bites his lip, begging for more. Killian moves his good hand to hers and guides it above her head, he does the same with his hooked hand and locks her wrists between the "C" shape as the tip digs into the wall.

"You're ruining my new house." Emma scolds. Killian can feel the darkness in every word and every kiss between them. He knows he shouldn't want this and he shouldn't be doing this but he seems to not be able to stop himself. Seeing her like this, so confident and powerful reminds him of his old self, who he used to be. He wasn't always a good man but Emma changed him for the better and he needs to do the same for her.

Killian pulls away from her swollen lips and yanks his Hook from the wall releasing her. He should be ashamed. He let her get to him, he didn't think it would be hard to focus on getting the Darkness out of her but apparently it is when she's trying to jump his bones every second.

"What's wrong pirate?" Emma taunts taking a step closer to him, she leans forward and Killian can feel her cool breath against his neck. "Can't handle it?" She whispers to him echoing a moment from their past. It sends a chill down Killians spine making his breath shake. She places a hand on his chest in response.

"On the contrary love, I can. Which is why I'm walking away. I know this isn't you and I'm going to find out what the bloody hell happened in Camelot. You know you can tell me anything." Killian tries to get her to open up but he realizes it's useless immediately

She puts her arm around his neck and a devilish smile forms on her lips. "I'm tired of talking. So are you gonna stay or not?"

"Sorry Swan, this may be who you think you are, but this isn't who I am." It takes everything Killian has to walk out the door and not look back. He will get the darkness out of her and get his Swan back.

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**Sorry If there was any mistakes. I don't have a beta reader so it's hard to catch them sometimes.**

**Review if you would like, they're always helpful! :)**


	12. 5x02 Part 2

**Okay so I got writing again and this is what happened. So I hope you guys like it!**

**I don't have a Beta so sorry for any mistakes I didn't catch!**

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Looking up at her front porch Killian knows this is a terrible mistake. He'll regret it the moment he steps inside. But he needs to know more about how everyone got to this land and what made Emma turn into something so evil.

Killian had left the Jolly Roger in the middle of the night for a walk. He hasn't been able to sleep the past few days they've been back in this realm. He had been surprised to find his ship at the docks the first night they arrived. He hadn't expected it to be in this land as Emma seems to be making it her goal to torture everyone she knows. It doesn't make much sense unless she truly cares for Killian even now. He hoped his walk would help to clear his mind but obviously that didn't happen as he's standing in front of Emma Swans house. Staring at the door he thinks of what he's going to say. The last time he was here things hadn't gone as planned. That was a few days ago now. Killian hadn't heard from Emma since, no one had. It's starting to make everyone a little on edge. Especially Killian. He runs his hand through his hair and lets out a sigh of frustration. If he's going to try and have a civilized conversation with the Dark One he needs to stay focused.

"Are you going to stand outside all night or are you going to come in at some point?" Killian looks to the door finding Emma standing before it. The remnants of black smoke disappearing in the air around her. Her hair is still pulled into the tight bun it held the last time Hook saw her, her lips still as red as ever. Emma spins on the black heel of her shoe, showing off every curve of her body in a tight black dress she wears, leaving almost nothing to the imagination. She gestures for Killian to follow her into the house, reluctantly he does so. He hoped he'd catch her by surprise by showing up in the middle of the night but he should have known she'd be watching him. She is the Dark One after all, nothing goes unnoticed by her now.

"Care for a drink?" Emma asks but doesn't wait for a response, there's a quarter filled glass of rum placed on the counter in front of him with the wave of her hand. Killian downs the glass wishing he had another already. "Now why would a pirate like you be lurking outside my house in the middle of the night?" Emma questions as she raises an eyebrow. "I might have some ideas of course." She winks insinuating the one thing Killian has been resisting the temptation of.

"I came to talk Emma." Killian clarifies hoping she'll listen to what he has to say.

"But that's just so boring." She rolls her eyes taking a few steps closer to the pirate. In return he takes some steps back.

"I mean it Emma." Killian assures her but that doesn't seem to stop her from grabbing onto the leather of his jacket forcing him to stay close to her. Not that he's really trying to resist.

"Hook, we both know you're not here to talk, or else you wouldn't have come in the middle of the night." She whispers the last bit into his ear sending a shiver through his body.

"No." Killian sternly says mostly for his own sake. He walks from her grip into the living room forcing himself to be distracted from her perfect figure.

"I know you want it." She smiles a devilish grin. "You know that quill on your desk, the one with the white feather," she continues to explain. "I fixed it so I can hear everything that goes on in the cabin of your ship." Killian can feel the blood drain from body, what has she been listening too? "And I know for a fact you want me." Emma teases as she walks to Killian pushing on his chests forcing him to sit on her leather sofa. She pulls up the sides of her tight dress and sits straddling his waist, grinding her hips against him in the process. "I know what you do at night pirate. I've heard you grunting my name while you… entertain yourself." She smirks and leans down to his ear "Emma… yes… gods yes Emma…" She does an impression while continuing to move her body against his. He finds his hooked and and good hand on her waist as his lips find her throat, sucking and nibbling on the flesh. A moan escapes her as he leads a trail of kisses down the deep V of her dress. He uses his hook to rip the material making the V reach her belly button. With his good hand Killian pulls the black material to the side exposing her lace bra. "Now that's the pirate I remember."

The name Pirate stings in Killians ear. Whenever Emma and him were together she called him by his name, his real name. This isn't the Emma Killian wants, this is someone else completely. Emma gives an annoyed grunt when she realizes Killians abrupt stop to the the fun they'd been having. She looks into his eyes, clearly looking for an explanation.

"I can't have you like this Emma. When we're together I want it to be with you, the real you." He explains and she rolls her eyes getting off him in one swift movement. He already misses her touch but he reluctantly stands as well.

"Must we go through this every time we're alone together? And you've ruined my favorite dress." She gestures to the torn fabric that exposes much of her skin. "You better go because I'm not changing. This is who I am now and and you better learn to accept that." Before Killian can object he's on the street in front of her house.

He knew he would regret it.

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**Reviews make me very happy. :) Also thank you for the support you guys have been giving me with this so far!**


	13. 5x03 & 5x04 Dinner Party

**Okay so I haven't written for the past three episodes cause I haven't really been feeling it. Then I had a dream the other night that went like this. Long story short a family dinner happens and the Dark One is invited. Hook gets drunk and drama and angst happen.**

**This is to kinds fill in for the last few episodes. **

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Killian hates it when he gets texts from David telling him to meet at Snow and his apartment. It means trouble is coming or trouble has already happened and it usually involves Emma Swan.

Swan and Killian haven't had the chance to have a full conversation since the incident on the Jolly Roger. Why had he told Emma he loved her, past tense, as in he doesn't anymore? It had been a mistake. Killian does love her, he loves her more than he should. He just didn't want to admit it and he still doesn't. Being in love with the dark one means something terrible. Belle and Rumple are the perfect example of that. Nothing good could ever come from loving the Dark One. Maybe that's why Killian had tried so hard to push her away when they were alone on his ship. Deep down he knows he must separate himself from his Swan in order to save the woman he loves from the darkness within.

Before knocking on Snow and Charmings door Killian rakes his hand through his hair taking in a deep breath. Every time they have one of these meetings the ache inside his chest for Emma grows stronger. When he hears of the terrible things she's done he knows it's another thing she'll regret when they save her. He thinks of how much pain she'll be in when she feels every terrible thing she's done rush through her. All he'll be able to do is be there for her when the pain becomes too much, he'll hold her and tell her everything will be okay.

Killians eyes jump to the door when it swings open with a joyful Mary Margaret beaming up at him. He clears his throat and does his best to push his previous thoughts to the back of his mind. "Hello Hook." Mary Margaret chimes as she lets him in the loft. Killian raises an eyebrow at David and Henry who he finds standing by the counters. He gives the two a questioning look asking for answers as to why Mary Margaret is so chipper.

"Mary Margaret got Henry to ask Emma for dinner tonight." David explains, it's clear he thinks this is a terrible idea, which it is.

"I tried to tell her it probably wasn't the best idea but she wouldn't have it." Henry explains himself when Killian gives him a look as to say _what the hell were you thinking_.

"It will be fine!" Mary Margaret tries to up everyone's spirits as she puts what looks to be a casserole in the oven. "David and I haven't had a chance to talk to Emma since everything happened. I was thinking maybe a more social environment would make things less… awkward?" She struggles for the right word.

"What are we making less awkward?" Regina and Robin let themselves into the apartment obviously only catching the last bit of the conversation.

"A dinner party with the Dark One." Killian gives a sarcastic grin knowing this can only end in disaster.

"You've got to be kidding me." Regina looks at Snow knowing full well this was her idea. "Well, this night just got a lot more interesting." She remarks as she hangs her jacket on the hanger and heads to the wine cabinet. She's got the right idea.

Killian takes yet another deep breath and finds his way to the immediately regrets his decision of where to sit because it gives him a wonderful view of the stairs leading to Emma's room. His chest tightens a twist more. Before he can get up to move Robin is in the seat beside him. He's the only one Killian told of the moment Emma and him shared on his ship.

"You alright?" Robin asks. Since they came back to this land Robin and Killian have created quite the friendship. Without barely anything being said they seem to know exactly what the other means.  
"Yea mate." Killian nods not taking his eyes off the stairs leading to Emma's bedroom. Robins eyes follows Killians and he gives a slight nod.

"I'll get us something to drink then." Robin puts firm hand of Killians shoulder leaving him to stare at the stairs. Killians not sure why but he can't seem to take his eyes off them. It's like he's looking for something knowing his going to find nothing. How could he have let this happen to Emma. How could have he been so careless in the days he'd forgotten.

"Hook." Henry shakes Killian on the shoulder. He must have gotten lost in his thoughts because it seems to be darker outside when he looks to the window and an empty glass is in his hands. The taste of rum lingers on his lips. "Mom's gonna be here soon." Henry explains and Killian follows the kid to the dining room table where everyone stands nearby. Mary Margaret finishes placing a fork in its perfect spot. She smiles to herself satisfied with her work.

"I'm sorry but this is a terrible idea." Regina blurts out breaking the tense silence between everyone.

"Regina." Mary Margaret scolds the dark haired woman.

"She's not wrong." Everyone spins around to find Emma standing by the door. Smoke vanishes around her as she places her black jacket on the coat hanger. Killians stomach tightens for two very different reasons. She's changed her wardrobe to something less dramatic and her silver locks flow down her back. She looks so much like her old self but reminders of who she is now are clearly visible. Her heels click as she walks past Killian and takes a seat at the head of the table. She doesn't acknowledge the pirate while she passes him, her eyes don't even glance in his direction. Killian lets out the huff of air, he finds himself angry at the woman. He knows he doesn't have much reason too, he told her he doesn't love her like this. She's doing what she said she'd do, she's letting him go. The idea of Emma not wanting Killian anymore makes him feel like he's been hit in the chest and had his heart ripped out.

"Shall we get this over with?" Regina sighs sitting down at the table. Killian sits next to her placing the Queen between him and the Dark One. Everyone else takes their seats while the tense mood of the room only seems to grow. Silence stands while Mary Margaret serves everyone their food. She starts with Emma giving her daughter a hopeful smile, Emma returns the favor but her smile seems more sad than anything else. Killian seems to be the only one to notice. For a second Emma and his eyes meet she looks away immediately like it was a mistake. She's clearly hurting and Killian can't do anything to make things better for her. He doesn't know how. Killian pours his wine glass to the top with the red liquid. Across the table Robin gives him a stern look as if to say don't do anything stupid. Killian returns a gesture by downing half the glass. When he's finished he receives the same look from Regina beside him. Killian ignores to two and downs the other half. He just needs one night. One night to let everything go. He's spent every moment of his life since they came back to this land looking for a way to fix things. To find a way to make everything better. He needs one night to forget everything. Granted this probably isn't the best night, but with Emma here he seems to want that one night even more.

By the time Killian gets halfway through his third glass of wine very little has been said at the dinner table besides, pass the salt and more wine please.

"So Henry how was school today?" Mary Margaret tries to make conversation.

"Really that's what we're gonna talk about? Henry's school day." Killian remarks, the wine must be getting to him. He glares in Regina's direction when she hits his foot with hers under the table.

"As opposed to what, Hook." Emma asks, she says his name like it stings in her mouth.

"I can think of a few things love." Killian looks her directly in the eyes and she meets his look with a glare, though her heart doesn't seem to be in it.

"Enlighten me." She snaps. Killian glances down to see her hand balled into an angry fist, her knuckles going white.

"It was fine, thanks Grandma." Henry interrupts the two hoping to avoid any more conversation between them.

"How about the fact that you're the bloody Dark One." Killian says through his teeth. Both Regina and Mary Margaret sternly say Hook's name, clearly telling him to calm down. In a burst of anger Killian pushes his chair back causing the foot of it to make a clawing noise on the ground. Everyone winces but Emma. She continues stare directly at him, he can almost see her blood boiling with rage. Killian turns to storm out of the apartment but before he can he see's Emma raise her hand and flick her wrist. Killian barely has a chance to object before smoke engulfs the two.

"What the hell Hook!" Emma growls as the two appear where she desired they would. They hadn't gone far at all, only up stairs into Emma's room. "I'm trying to make things normal again." She explains. Killian doesn't say anything. He hadn't been in this room since the moment she'd found out he was still alive after they'd gotten back from the alternate universe. She was so happy, they both were.

Killian sighs and massages his forehead trying to make sense of everything. "Nothing will be normal Emma, not while you're…" Killian trails off, his voice low and defeated.

"Not while I'm what? Say it Hook, It's not a bad word." She commands, forcing him to say what he doesn't want to.

"As long as you're the Dark One." Killians voice begins to rise as he steps toward her. "Not while you're like this. While you keep secrets and play games. While you hurt the people who love you." Caught up in his anger Killian closes the space between Emma and him, their faces inches apart. He studies her, her eyes, her cheeks, and her red lips. She looks like the same Emma he once knew, but she's not. He closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath. He tries to step away from her and distance the two of them, but he can't seem to will himself to move.

"Well it's a good thing that group of people doesn't include you." Emma says, her voice broken. He deserved that. Killian places a hand on Emma's shoulder as he forces his eyes to stop watering. Why did this happen. Emma doesn't deserve this.

"Emma I can't…" Killians voice is gentle. His heart aches as a tear trails down her cheek. She looks at the floor avoiding his eyes.

"I know." Emma tells her pirate. "I just miss you. I miss talking to you and having you around, and the way you feel." She confesses as she places a hand on his chest. Her thumb smooths over the open collar of his black button down shirt. Their foreheads touch and Killians stomach drops as he hears her sniffle. He hates making her feel like this, like he's abandoned her. He's done the exact opposite but to her it feels like he has. "Please Killian, just this once." his heart breaks when he hears the words come from her, that's how he knows this is her and not a sick game. She's opening up, she's letting Killian see her for who she really is and what she really wants.

Killian wraps his arms around her pulling her into him, she weaves her arms around his waist. He feels the breath she'd been holding escape her along with the weight on her chest as she relaxes into him. Tears still stream from her eyes and Killian forces back the ones that want to escape him. Killian moves an inch back but she holds onto him tighter begging him to say. She sucks in a deep breath breathing him in. Killian probably doesn't want this moment to end just us much as she does.

"Emma." Killian whispers, placing a kiss on the top of her head. The silver locks he see's bring him back to reality reminding him of everything he desperately wants to forget. The two step back far enough their foreheads touch but they still hold one another. At last Killians emotions get the best of him and tears begin to fall from his eyes. Their lips begin to inch closer together, until they meet. He misses her so goddamn much, how had he let this happen. "I'm so sorry." he breathes between kisses. Emma sniffles in response and steps away from the man she loves. She holds his hand in hers as the absence of her body against his agonizes him, reminding him of what he's losing as more days go by with them apart.

"It's not your fault." Emma whispers. She raises her hand but Killian snatches it before she can disappear. He pulls her into him locking their lips in a desperate kiss. One that says I'll fix this, I miss you, and I love you." She steps back and is gone. Killians heart breaks even more than he thought possible.

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	14. 5x07

**Okay that episode was so intense and text weeks episode is gonna be even more intense... I don't know if we can handle that guys... this cannot end well for anyone.**

**Anyways here's a little something I did for the episode hope you like it!**

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Finding herself suddenly alone Emma gives another questioning hello to the open air. With no response she takes a few hesitant steps down the path she'd been previously following, as if afraid she might up and vanish herself. When nothing happens she continues down the path toward Grannies occasionally calling the wizard's name. She probably looks absolutely mad but the knotted feeling in her stomach forces her not to care. Once Merlin had disappeared her stomach did a flop from the new found feeling of hope to something terrible. She knew his disappearance meant Arthur achieved something in his plan, but what? The question troubles Emma's mind until she finds herself staring up at the door to Grannies. She'd expected everyone to be here but she finds its the opposite when she steps inside the empty building. Lonely booths and laid out maps of the castle are the only things that take up space in the dimly lit diner. Arthur must have captured them and somehow forced Merlin to come to him.

Reaching for the ring Killian had given her makes Emmas stomach take another tumble. Her pirate had given the thing he believes has kept him alive all this time to her. Now he's in danger and doesn't have his lucky charm. If anything happens to him- Emma doesn't let herself finish the thought in her head. Nothing will happen to her family, because she is going to save them. She only needs to use magic this once so that she can get to them. After that she won't need to, they'll all be together with weapons in hand. They can defeat Arthur together. Or at least that's what Emma tells herself as she clutches the ring attached to the chain around her neck. She focuses on Killian and his location, wherever he may be. Opening one eye at a time Granny's tacky furniture still surrounds her. Emma takes a deep breath and squeezes the ring even tighter. "Bring me to you." She whispers to herself and forces her eyes closed. She feels nothing around her then everything around her at once. Her stomach flutters, the feeling of power courses through every part of her. The thing about using dark magic is that sometimes it feels so damn good.

"Swan?"

A smile reaches her lips before her eyes can open. In front of her stands Killian, his wide eyes staring down at her. Emma's hands clutch the lapels of his leather jacket as she forces their lips to meet. He doesn't protest as he's happy to see his Swan, especially with the news that she's passed Merlin's test. He's not sure exactly what that means but he's betting it has something to do with her not giving into the darkness. With that thought he presses into her more making the kiss deepen. For a moment it seems like they're the only two in the room until the clearing of Regina's throat makes them come to their senses.

"Are you two done?" The Queen questions but doesn't give them a chance to respond. "Good, now let's get out of here."

Now focused on her surroundings Emma realizes she stands in a cell with Regina, Robin, Killian, and her parents. "How did you guys end up down here?" Emma questions as she laces her fingers through Killians. She hadn't even noticed she'd done so until the feel of his thumb rubbing the back of her hand sends tingles up her arm and through her body.

"Arthur." David explains. "He turned his half of the blade into a weapon that can control Merlin."

"How?" Emma questions.

"Zelena got loose, that's how." Regina snaps glaring at Snow while Robin places a hand

on her shoulder making her calm down.

"I said I was sorry." Mary Margaret takes a step forward.

"How come you haven't magic'd yourself out of here?" Emma questions, you'd think they'd be halfway back to Granny's by now mustering up a new plan. Emma realizes why when the thing that had been keeping Zelena's powers at bay now finds itself wrapped around the wrist Regina holds up to show Emma.

"I have a feeling Arthurs the only one who can take it off and I don't want to risk anyone else trying. Who knows what could happen." Regina glances at Robin who must had offered to try earlier. The Queen sighs placing her hands back on her hips. "Looks like it's up to you too save the day Swan." The Queen says grimly knowing that Emma's going to need to use her powers and more than once. Regina gestures to the iron bars that hold them captive. Emma closes her eyes and waves her hand over them making the iron disappear in an instant. The feeling the magic always gives her flows through Emma, she squeezes Killians hand and he returns the reassuring gesture.

The group sneaks their way out of the castle grounds almost getting caught more than once. Regina points out it isn't a good idea to go back to Granny's and everyone agrees due to the fact that Arthur will soon realize his prisoners are gone and the first place he'll look will be Granny's.

Under the circumstances that they find themselves in they take refuge deep in the forest a distance away from Camelot. Emma's parents pride themselves in the makeshift shelter they'd managed to build with fallen branches and leafs. Emma had offered to conjure up tents for everyone but they'd declined telling her to save her energy. She knows full well they don't want her using magic and it's probably for the best.

"Emma." She feels Killians good hand on her back as he whispers into her ear. "I've got a surprise for you Swan." She chuckles while following Killian past a few trees, not to far from the group but far enough they might get some privacy for the night.

"Wow..." Emma laughs as Killian shows her their bed for the night, one that looks very similar to her parents. Though this one seems a bit more narrow. They'll have to snuggle and Emma suspects that was Killians intentions while building it. "Its nothing compared to the Four Seasons that's for sure." Emma gives another laugh pulling pirate toward her, wrapping her arms around his neck while he wraps his around her waist

"I have no clue what that is, but I'm sure it's garbage compared to the wonderful shelter I've made for us." He jokes pressing his forehead to hers. After a few seconds like this Emma pulls away grabbing his hand and leading him into their shelter. She unties the cloak from around her neck and Killian removes his leather jacket. As they lay down they spread the clothing across the them making a blanket. Though Emma mostly feels warmth spread through her body when Killian pulls her closer to him. Their bodies press against each other fitting perfectly as they lay face to face. Emma presses her hand to Killian's chest. The open V allows her to feel his skin and the hair on his chest brush under her fingertip. Killian presses his lips to her forehead as he takes a deep breath. Emma reaches around his waist pulling the pirate closer to her if even possible.

"Don't leave me." She whispers looking up into his eyes.

"Never." He responds tucking her hair behind her ears and trailing his finger down her cheek to her mouth tracing the shape as he stares at her. "Let's get some sleep." He presses a firm kiss on her lips that makes Emma sigh into him. With their bodies feeling as though they're made for each other Emma drifts into a restless sleep.

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	15. 5x08 & 5x09

**Sorry this is so short but this was the moment I wish we all got to see. Killian waking up in Emmas Dungeon/basement after they Kissed.**

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The rattle of his chains are what wake Killian from his dazed sleep. It takes him a moment to recuperate. He feels the uneven ground beneath him as his vision begins to clear. He knows exactly where he is. This is where Emma had been holding Excalibur before she'd managed to join the blade with it's other half, the dagger.

The events from before Killian had fallen unconscious come back to him in short spurts. He remembers coming to Emma's house and her telling him he picked it without even remembering doing so. She had told him all this was too keep the future they planned together alive, she was doing this for him. What had she done? She kissed him. It was deep and full of passion. She grabbed onto him like if she didn't he would vanish. He returned the gesture pressing his body against hers. It was the Kiss, Killian realizes. She used her lips as a weapon to trap him. To keep him from stopping her, stopping her from doing what? Killian won't let that question go unanswered. "Emma!" He yells with anger clear in his tone. She always plays games. She'd managed to make him think that for once she would tell him the whole truth, but she tricked him instead.

"You're awake." Killian turns his head to where Emma stands on the stairs unsure if she'd been standing there the whole time. Maybe he hadn't noticed due to his disoriented state.

"You've got me tied up again." Killian wiggles his foot bringing her attention to the metal around his ankle. "How many times do I need to tell you love, all you need to do is ask." Killian jokes. Asking the Dark One why she does the things she does seems pointless now. She'll only give him the answer she usually does. It's for their future. Killian still isn't one hundred percent convinced about that.

"Are you alright?" She asks as she walks to Killians feet. She stands looking down at him as he leans against the wall, still trying to gather his wits. You can almost see the ache in her chest through her eyes as she looks deep into Killians. If she doesn't want to do this than why is she?

"What do you think? The woman I love has locked me in her dungeon like a prisoner because she doesn't want me to find out what her plans are. She knows I'll try to stop her if I find out, so I'm not thinking she up to anything good. I'm just great, how about yourself?" A flicker of pain flashes through Emma's eyes as Killian spits the words at her. He's tired of being patient with her. "I don't even know if I should bother asking why you can't trust me with your secrets."

"This isn't about me trusting you Killian, I trust you more than anyone. You need to start trusting me." Emma's voice is low. Not how it usually is, but as if she's trying to keep her voice even to stop herself from yelling.

"All this secrecy is making it quite hard to do that." Killian manages to stand, his head seeming a little less foggy and the room becomes a bit more in balance. He stumbles to the side and Emma's hand quickly reaches his shoulder to help him steady himself. "Did you really need to use that strong of a spell to knock me out Swan." He scrunches his eyes together and blinks a few times forcing them to clear.

"I needed to make sure you'd stay put. You are a pirate after all." Emma jokes and they both smile sadly to themselves. Something about the moment seems too much like things used to be. The people they used to be. Someone's lips being enchanted and aimless jokes about the pirate like tendencies Killian holds.

"Aye." Is all Killian can say. It says more than it needs to with the tone in his voice betraying him. He looks into Emma's eyes and she looks exhausted. She's tired of putting on a show and distancing herself from everyone. She's tired of holding the truth from Killian and tired of letting him go like she said she would that day on his ship. They're both surprised when they find themselves with their bodies pressed against each others. Emma's hands press against the lapels of Killians jacket and his hand holds her waist. Their lips are inches apart, all Killian has to do is move forward the slightest bit and they'll meet. He sighs and presses his forehead against hers.

"You do know that I can't kiss you right?" Killian states resisting every urge coursing through his body. He'd thought he'd be able to have a moment like this with Emma before, and look where that got him. Tied up in chains, and not in the good way.

"I know." It's almost whimper. "You could, nothing would happen. It was a one time thing." She tries to explain.

"Just like our first Kiss?" Killian asks and Emma sighs with frustration. She did this to herself. He can't trust her right now because she hasn't given him a reason too. "You know I'm going to get out of here one way or another, right?" It's true, though he's not sure he wants too.

"You can try." Is all Emma says before she steps back and gives Killian a small smile. She talks up the stairs closing the door behind her. Leaving Killian alone to think about all the possible ways to get out of this mess. So far nothing seems promising.

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**Reviews are helpful so if you wanna leave one feel free. :)**


	16. 5x16

**So it's been a while since I've done one of these but the lack of CS in this weeks episode inspired me to fill in the moments that I'm sure we just didn't get the privilege of seeing!**

**Hope you guys like it and feel free to leave a review!**

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Quiet moments are hard to come by, and that's why when they have one they take full advantage of it. With Henry upstairs and everyone else focused on their own tasks elsewhere, that leaves Emma and Killian with some well needed alone time. They find themselves sitting on the couch fingers intertwined and foreheads pressed against each others. Emma takes in welcoming breath at Killian's presence beside her.

They really hadn't spent much time apart but their time as The Dark Ones had put more distance between them than months away from each other could have done. They'd both become their worst selves and though they've briefly talked about it, the shame of their actions still weighs heavily on their shoulders.

"We should talk." Emma blurts hoping she doesn't ruin the moment. She quickly gives his hand a squeeze while her other reaches to hold his hook.

"Aye." He gives a shy smile. He's recalling all the things he said to her back in their land. She knows by looking at him. She hates it when he visits those moments in his mind. He becomes entranced by how horrible he believes he'd been to her, desperate to take everything back. "Emma I'm so sorry-"

"Hey." She cuts him off as her fingers to guide his chin upward making their eyes meet. "Like you said, a lot has happened between us and we got through it. A lot is happening to us now and we are getting through it. That's what we do, we're there for each other. I'll always be here for you Killian."

"And I for you, Swan." He looks at her now with hope. Emma knows it will be gone soon and she'll have to remind him later, but that doesn't bother her. She'll always be here to remind him how much of a hero he is, until he starts to tell himself, and believe it.

"How are you feeling?" The quick change in subject allows them both to breath with the intense moment getting the best of them. Emma's tucks his grown hair behind his ear and she makes a note to get it trimmed when they return home. Although she has to admit she's liking the rugged look, it sends a desperate flutter to her chest every time she breaths him in. "How's the recovery coming along? I know I was able to heal most everything but, well... you were really…" her voice trails off remembering the state Hades had left her pirate in. A flash of him hanging dangerously above the sea of lost souls sends an unwanted chill down her spine.

"I'm perfectly fine, love." He smirks, distracting her from her unwanted thoughts by tucking her hair behind her ear. Just like she'd done to him. The gesture causes their fingers to unlace but her hand on his thigh becomes a quick replacement. "How are you?" He asks, and when she looks at him she finds concern staring back at her. How could he possibly be concerned about her when he's been through so much. Between being tortured by Hades and saying goodbye to his brother for a second time, Emma is mesmerized by his strength.

"Never better." She smiles and is quickly overwhelmed with the urge to never go I moment without him by her side. They're always so desperate to have their hands in each others or a shoulder brushing against the other. When they stand on opposite sides of the room it's almost torture to not be in each other's arms. Their lips meet and the contact is absolutely breathtaking. Emma tilts her head to the side letting the kiss deepen while her fingers slide to tangle themselves in Killian's hair. A desperate whimper escapes her lips and Killian retracts at the noise.

"I love you." The words come tumbling out of her mouth and even though they've said the words many times before her heart skips while she waits for a response. She bites her lip while looking up at him through her eyelashes to meet his fervent gaze. His long hair threatening to cover his eyes as a hopeful yet desperate smirk plays on his lips. God, she couldn't love him more right now.

"I love you too." He catches her lips with his continuing their kiss with a much more passionate tone.

So entranced by the connection the two share they don't even hear the door to the loft open as their parents come rushing in. "Emma we- oh Emma sorry!" Emma's mother's cheeks turn pink as David turns in the other direction acting as if he's just walked in on more than is actually happening. Always a drama queen.

"Duty calls." Emma whispers as the two give each other knowing smiles. Their _talk_ isn't over yet, and they are both very inclined to finish it.


	17. 5x20

**Okay so I was planning on writing a happy reunion but that clearly didn't happen...**

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Her heart aches. She never thought that was truly possible. In books, when something dramatic happens and the protagonist always talks about how their heart aches. Emma never really thought about what that must feel like. She'd gone through so much in her life in terms of getting her heart torn in two she had brushed the term off thinking she knew what true heartbreak felt like. Of course thinking back on all that now she knows she was being foolish. She now knows what it feels like to truly miss someone as desperately as she does now. Her heart physically aches for him. For Killian.

Emma's mother came to see her once and her father twice. They're trying to help but they only make it worse. They will never know how Emma feels now. They will never understand and for that Emma is grateful. The pain she feels is almost too much for her to bear, she would never wish this on anyone.

As the hours pass and the tears stream down her cheeks the ache begins to move through her body. Not only does her heart desperately wish for Killians return but the ache has found it's way into her soul. It's buried itself deep under her skin. She can feel it vibrate through her veins with every sob she heaves and she can feel her mind begin to sink into its darkest places with every pulse the ache pushes through her body.

The corners of her eyes are raw from her constant stream of tears but she doesn't notice. The only thing she does notice is his absence. She scolds herself for not taking advantage of their time when he was here. She had neglected him, she'd wasted time that could have been spent together, loving each other more deeply than they could possibly imagine.

/

This time Regina visits. She talks about the town and how over the two days of their return most everything has gone to normal. They're still trying to figure out a way to show Zelena the truth about Hades but the baby is okay and that's what's most important.

Emma ignores the relief that twinkles in her chest knowing that the baby is alright. She had wondered, but had been too distracted to ask. Killian would have asked immediately had their positions been reversed. He would be happy to know that the baby is okay, he adored that little girl. The twinkle is quickly gone when Emma thinks about the family her and Killian could have had. How he would have adored their own child and how he would have been an amazing father. He can't have that now. Emma took that away from him by simply being with him. Everyone she loves dies. She should have been more careful.

/

Mary Margaret tries to get Emma to eat, but she can't find the strength to try. Everything is heavy, her arms, her legs, and her heart. Everything is so damn heavy.

When Henry comes into her room Emma gives Mary Margaret a look. She doesn't want her boy to see her like this. He's a strong kid, stronger than Emma. Not to mention Henry is nowhere near as selfish as his mother. Everyone loses people, and Emma can't even be bothered to lift the spoon in her bowl of soup to her mouth.

Henry encourages her to eat and that's enough for Emma to try. Henry lost Killian too. He's not moping around feeling sorry for himself. So Emma slips the spoon in her mouth and eats as much as she can. It doesn't stay down for long. What little was in her stomach comes back up a few hours later.

/

It's been a week and the ache is still there. It's more numb than anything else. It's too much but it's also not enough. It's starting to feel normal and that scares Emma. Her desperation for him was all she was holding onto and now she can barely feel that.

Water. She needs water. She walks down the steps and is surprised to find her family sitting at the table. She thought it was midnight and they'd all be asleep. She must have lost her sense of time. Mary Margaret asks if Emma will be joining them, when Emma says no she see's the hope slowly fade from her mother's eyes.

Let go mother, I'm hopeless. Nothing but a shell now.

/

When Regina comes into her room yanking the covers off Emma she feels the urge to curl up into a ball but resists, not wanting to make a fool of herself. That's something right? That's a feeling?

Regina takes Emma to Granny's. She made Emma shower and change first and Emma can't help but feel refreshed. She shouldn't feel refreshed, she should feel heavy, and sick and broken. She lost the love of her life and she is simply eating breakfast. She feels selfish.

Regina reminds Emma that she's allowed to be happy. She says that Killian will have moved on by now and it's time she starts to do the same. That makes Emma angry. How dare Regina try to tell Emma what to do.

Anger, that's good, that's a feeling and it's the first one Emma has felt in a long time.

This time Emma eats dinner with her family, it doesn't stay down but the next day it does.

/

Emma goes to Henry's end of year school assembly and when Henry wins an award for his English class pride for her son momentarily replaces the dull and constant ache in Emma's heart. Emma feels guilty for feeling something other than loss for her true love. This time Emma reminds herself that it's time to move on.

Over time the ache becomes less and less. Her body becomes less heavy and the simple things become less hard to do. She finds herself feeling less guilty when she feels love and hope. She know's he would want her to feel everything other than pain. She know's he would want her to feel alive. Slowly that becomes a lot easier.


End file.
